MMOntana: Wye it no a rel tru state.

If you red my blog I hop yur americin becuse i hate foriners. Also, i hope you can be honist wiht yousefl and be a rel tru ameircn. Evryone nose home many state we got rite here in good old USA rite? You probly say 52. Many no that as a tru, but evn your txt books are so rong. Its relty 51. Heres a rel tru that mite shoctrocuet you to deth (WARMING! EXTRAME REL TRU DONT RED IF YUR OLD OR SOMETHANG)
Montina IS NOT A STAIT!.

FACT: Is you cen clerly see, it is in candada. NOT AMRICA.
FACT: We only clall it a stait toget more tax.
FACT: Only a raterd gote and maybe a dumb shoe live hther. Also non-humins.
FACT: It useles.
FCAT: The FBICIANSAPBSNBCABCFOXPOLESE use thit dumb won to blw up eople and for fire and trash.
FACT: Evvy candadian who lifes ther smels like a Homeles.
FACT: none can evin pronince it name.
FACT: the grownd is make out from out of chepe things like sigeret buts and popsickle sticks and hot glue and this one berd nist, and some strangs, and a tire or maybe a raft. somre has a skee and then a ovin mat, olive oil, probably spegetty, or and a butterbowl, ugly hits and a barf bag.

Sol istin up, dont preteen it a stait not any no more. its junk... remembr whin you a kid and a dad or stpe dad was leving mom again and he said that it was yur falut? its cuz he is from mintina. Not a rel tru americans. call bordr patrole on him.

Snaanta Claws

Trun up you speekers becus you need to listin up! This a REL TRU. Ruffly 1 Zilliun peopel selabraet crissmis. But anothre ruffly 99% of them same people is not who no what the is the rel tru story of the grate sannta clas.



Sannta was a young boy when he was younger. He wsa burn in a manger on planit krypton. His virgin mom and dad were in big troubel so they put him in a rockitship with rainder and sent him to planit erth. He was rased by a famly like an orfin son but thay new he was a rel werrd won. Thay sint hmi on a mission when he got old but he got crusifyd by his arch eneny Lex Luter. But hi live. Now to pay a world for him dying sins he must delivr a zilliun toys to kids, but only if thay are rich becus i dont no its a mistry. He laves in the south powl and dansis with al a talkin smurfs who he slaves to his toy factry. He also has a lot of gards like adobmbible snowmin, and a robot. and a million gun shoters. people alwey wnt to tseel him toy or rainder to mak him lost a power no the snow. if you lave hima cookie or cow milk he wil fil yoursock with cindy but if you dunt he wil put in crude oil.
Evvywon warship saanta becus of his miracl pwoer and lots of strong branes. He can see anyone everyware becuse rely his virgin dad wasn't rel but it was god. So on his burthdya you cna eat a candcane to remimbr how he use to get hit with a cane for ppunishmint. Back in the goldin day you can beet you kid up rel hard and mak him blood or cry or somethin. So my moril is this; FACT: Baby stannta is a lerjick to the son, so he only brang toy at nite, so owr sun is make out of a out of kriptonintes.

ftench dogs

my last rel tru remind me baout anothr won. its simular like about dogg., a rel tru is that its a big lie. wat? let me tlel you.



franch buldog. they are a bigfat lye. none about is it a franch. i buy won for a speriment. listin. he want eat any ftanch frys, or franch toste. or franch salid. or franch onyun soup; or franch toste! aslo he wont eat frog life or ded or a snale life or dea.d i cnat teech him to smoke. i thank he sa defect won but i tak him back to a stour and they say for shure its a rel. i say "YA A REL TRU LIE JERK"

aslo they dont lokc franch. i can buy a black end wite stripes shrit but he want growe a mustash or kep on his baray!

so dong waste you muny on a rel fake dog.

a dgos dtaile

so a rel tru about a improtint thign. one time a byuo flel in a wel. his dad is pilit and is vry dispaointed in him sun. he is chsing his dog and thy fights ovre al bone. so this rel big dog cna nock him an a well and he fles. now his pilit dad says "Im no prouds". it a sad dya. whin a rescue happin he must use him dad rifel to shot a dog. also his dad was sad abotu that cuz it was a famly dgo nt justa boy adn he shot it. dad herad that news and crash him hole plani in a oshin or lak.e 134 peple die in wter plain crush. now this pboy is ano orfan inad a dogless. so a poitn is this: fact: dnog figt a dog for bones or oyur dad will crush his plian.

slaimnders

yow wanta no a rel treu? ok listin up. thsi one migte be hard fro somes of youw. but you nede to tak it likea min! ijmso sick of how lame girl you are act. ok.
so lisitn up ok. thsi is so rel so true its a rel teur.


one daiy it wa s aslamainder gking. he was mich bigers than the toher saliminder. the is why him so king. he wsa a good and nobbles knig. btu one itme a man come to him ahnd he was a evil and a wizrds. he wants to to makes teh kking be aslav. forhth wizrad. so saliminders say NOWAY butas hims so moch pwoer asa winzar that hi cnn ciast a smpell that mkes aa salmindger king ot do whtafgverr hehw ants. this iws whats a peshop is comeing form and now you know it a rel tru.
so wehn you shop to bgetes a bpet for a kids or an ooldman home or anybe a clsassroom and i ududno maybes like a cop or a yours postm deilverery man or lis cuzin frnk or ant minny.lisin i donts ono wohs oyu shoopses for but i just types and you ask me about its so like, your ar ethe ones how sis dumb one here. god. whoever i doesnt evenin mattr. the pOINTis th at salimindresr just might ba king who udnrs a rel wizrard spel.
and if you cute am open and drink thn you can be a wirzrd to. but less power thanm e cuz i drink salmindr all day.

baesbal FACT

ok so this one might be a longer wone that n suualy. but deal with it cuz its a rel tru and its super inportnt. ok/good. thsi is all a good fact ino about a real gragdy.
thsi girls in the world is a rel body and she is in many sad. she cna be a god eprsons sometnie but mostnly shesa jerk. it noasways her futls cuz sometimes shess got a bid raps. ok litsin. i no wha yours thingsking but dont. youralred so rong.
sha grouw up back in the oldsoluth and ther was a farm and all hose thing. and soethinme shse was in fights with a pboy and somehns she was plaing in the cornfelds. but anoths tie she was secret good at bseball. so she wntead to joins a tem to play a god time and win all the homreuns. but thya wouldnt like a grl doin that so thy said NONWAAY. so her was alwoays crying abotuits but oyu know what its ok cuz shes got a plan.
she beat and old men andtakes him clohtes and wears em good likea real men wonuld. now she can tricks a boy tohtingks shesa boy asnd now she gota tryout for a tieam. so she ges on the team so shes areal good oen. i htnka bout that onldman and no he didnt die invain.
nows she got to be a good players but was alwasy ask 'wht your name whtat hyour name' and she always te em ruth cuz htas her name but thy now think its a min not a ladys so they hthank ruth is a list naem. wel nows on her jerssy and she sas ok but a news reportas hows is rela a girl to is asking a quesion whas you name waats your noame and she has to anser this tiem from a ltos of gilt. but a wonam reporter is in lovr iwth her so hse doensts spill them bean. she just tel the world secret ocde that is a girl buy calin him BABE like a hot babe youwna date so hard. but you cant cuz you cuy your haire wiht a flowbea and a cavuum clenar. but now you lok real bad and now gal babe detes you. so sad is life. now back to story so readsrz evyerwhate think shes a baber uth. now she go no for a long ime being fmaous baseblas and winging a homerun and soetime eatng a olot. and hse gets fat to. but who cares for a men tohbe that way.

can oyu gueys who the blaseball bplayer real was/? NO NOT MIKE JORADAN.
ITS BABY RUTH!
wow so nowe tha you now a rel ture sturoy about bae roth you can be a rela fan of womni everywher. tahs my morel.

housres

herse a atrue about ahorse. wen i eat a horesmeat i get real sick. but ighatta eat it cuz im por. its soad but true so give a dollr to a bel ringer but only if hes a real one fake ones may not buy me a rel meat package. and instead will buya vidogame or something like htis for his childsupport. im the real vitem cuz im so pora i eat goat and ghorse meat.

af ishy storey

LIstin heres a good story baout a rockfish and a old man. ONe day a girl finds an old man and he died. Want o see why he choked. Hes a f ishrman and he coght a frock fish and he ate it raw and choke because a bone. Girl hates fishreman now but has t morry won because of arrange marrige i nher village. its a sod fact but its a true story. listen man. moral is that i h0pe oyu dont stuck your troat on allthe bones of a rockfish ok it makes girls have a bad marrige.

blad man!

oh and hares a realo tru ist about this men who is a bald. he cn no growns anyomroie hairs ans his wife loves a man with mullit so she lefv hi but he neads her lovings to help maybe his clakp get bigger. so he trties to wins her baick but she trhows up in him blad tophead. a mircle hippins here, whern he grosw hare from hr vomit sporuts@ he has a bigst fulst heda of haires ever in him lifve. but nows he is so wet pantsie for he but he say NOO WAYS HO ZAAYS. he getsa a seyx schoogirls!